


Ron is Banned from Muggle Films

by ProfessorDrarry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, Drarry, F/M, Fluff and Crack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Ten things I hate about you is entirely to blame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 03:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11865375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorDrarry/pseuds/ProfessorDrarry
Summary: Ron has won a bet, possibly due to a love of 90s romantic comedies, although we aren't really sure. Stupidity ensues. Draco regrets both everything and nothing, and Harry is turned on.





	Ron is Banned from Muggle Films

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jadepresley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadepresley/gifts).



> So, I am stuck... In fact, I am smut blocked. That's like writers block except that it's only related to being able to smut; so maybe it's kinda like cockblocked? Every time I sit down to write something serious, this ridiculousness ensues. And so I'm going to just embrace it for a moment. I am sorry. 
> 
> Dear Jade,  
> 1\. I don't know what this is either. 2. I don't know why I felt the need to gift it to you, but every fibre of my being insisted. Please don't hate me. 3. I promise to gift you something real and not cracky soon, because you deserve it immensely. 
> 
> Proceed if you must.

They all strode out to the Quidditch pitch early Saturday morning, smiling at the bright sunshine. It seemed the _perfect_ day for everything. Ginny had given them one hour before the team needed the field. One hour, that was all. It should be plenty of time, if things went according to plan.

When they arrived, Draco was standing in the middle of the field, his arms already folded. A very oversized grey jumper was hanging off his skinny frame. His jeans were stupidly tight by comparison, and there were dark sunglasses taking up most of his face. His hair looked white in the sun, and Harry couldn't help but stare in bold faced attraction.

“I want to state for the record,” Draco shouted angrily, ruining the effect somewhat, “that this is an absolutely LUDICROUS thing I am being made to do.”

“Duly noted,” Harry called back, smiling as he got closer and noted that Draco had painted his nails again. The bright purple suited him. Harry shook his head at himself; he should definitely not be this turned on at the whole prospect of this morning, but he was. Par for the course, really. Harry had long ago stopped trying to work out the source of Draco's appeal.

As he watched Harry stare, Draco just grew angrier, and pushed the sunglasses up on top of his head revealing Harry's greatest weakness; eyeliner. He resisted the urge to reach out and touch Draco on the face.

Draco held up an accusatory finger, shouting “And furthermore that Ron Weasley—”

But Ron interrupted him with a pointed clearing of his throat.

Draco growled in exasperation, and through clenched teeth, stated, “Is a God among men, the sexiest of all Gryffindors, and the only Weasley who can actually pull off a ginger beard.”

Draco glared as Harry laughed, forcing him to raise his hands in defense before snorting, “I did warn you not to take the bet.”

“Whatever. I've said the thing now!” Draco whined. “Can we please just end this here? Weasley, I’m begging you.”

Ron just folded his own arms in direct challenge and beamed at Draco, who sighed loudly and threw his hands up in the air.

“Fine!” he shouted. “But after this, he is DEFINITELY banned from Muggle films for all eternity.”

“We’ll see,” Harry grinned. “Now stop stalling. Off with it.”

Draco looked murderous, but he pulled at the hem of the ridiculous jumper and drew it over his head, dropping both it and the glasses onto the ground beside Harry before taking out his wand.

“You are so paying for the therapy this causes, Potter!” Draco called as he jogged slowly back to the centre of the pitch.

“Did his shirt say, ‘ _I give the best hugs_ ’?” Hermione asked, head tilted.

“One of the conditions,” Ron beamed. “He has to wear it all week.”

There was a slight jostle as Draco cast a sonorous, and Harry held his breath in anticipation. The green of the pitch was glinting in the sun, and the fact that Harry hadn't been here yet this season only heightened his excitement.

Draco cleared his throat into the amplified end of his wand, and then, a shockingly crisp, clean baritone rang out across the empty pitch and stands. At the same time, three jaws dropped simultaneously.

_“You’re just too good to be truuuuue….”_

“Holy shit.” Hermione said, gobsmacked. “I really didn’t think he was _actually_ going to do it.”

_“Can’t take my eyes off of youuuuu…..”_

“I mean, I don’t know that I’ve ever heard him sing. He's not bad, is he?” Harry said, body limp with shock.

_“You’d be like heaven to touch. I want to hold you soooo much. At long last love has arrived, and I thank god I’m alive.”_

“I dunno...he _is_ Malfoy. He doesn’t half-ass anything.” Ron said, barely containing his laughter.

_“You’re just too good to be true.”_

“I kinda wish we had more of an audience. Or a camera,” Harry said, fascinated and a bit dry mouthed. As if to make matters worse, Draco had now moved toward them, and was now pointing lustily at Harry, who gulped and forced himself to look at the ground. 

_“Can’t take my eyes off of… you.”_

From out of nowhere, there was a loud crashing sound and a small crowd emerged from the sidelines.

“You made him get a band?!” Harry shouted at Ron as the tubas assembled and the drum core rolled out a beat.

Ron was doubled over in laughter now, barely able to speak, “No, I didn’t, but I told you. Malfoy doesn’t back down.”

Draco pumped his fist in the air at the opening notes, and was off, dancing and thrusting his way down the field as he sang.

_“I LOVE YOU BABY, AND IF IT’S QUITE ALRIGHT, I NEED YOU BABY, TO WARM THE LONELY NIGHTS…”_

“Goodness,” Hermione said, her tone making Harry look at her in amusement. “He’s quite sexy, isn’t he.”

“Hermione!” Ron shouted, sobering very suddenly.

“I definitely agree,” Harry said, watching as Draco danced and jumped around, finishing the last chorus and running among the band.

“ _SO LET ME LOVE YOU, BABY. LET ME LOOOOOVE YOU.”_

“I mean, He’s almost doing it better than Heath.” Hermione added solemnly.

“How did this become not funny?” Ron said, mouth open, looking back and forth between them. “When did this stop being fun for _me_?”

As the band stopped playing, Draco, looking very pleased with himself, stooped to pick up his things and strode up to them purposefully. He tipped his jumper onto Harry's shoulder, grabbed him around the waist, and kissed him loudly.

“That, dearest, is the only love song you are ever gonna get, so I hope you enjoyed it,” he said, pulling on Harry's hand and walking away.

“Suppose it'll do,” Harry laughed, holding on for dear life as he was dragged across the field.

“I assume that was good enough, Weasley?” Draco added as they passed him. “I want brunch.”

“I don’t understand how you pulled that off,” Ron said, crestfallen.

“May I ban you from films, now?” Draco called back over his shoulder.

“He may have you there, mate,” Harry said, grinning over his shoulder, wrapping an arm around Draco and laughing again.

“That song will be stuck in my head all week,” Hermione murmured, already humming and taking Ron's arm. “Come on, love, I’ll buy you pancakes.”

“Bloody hell,” Ron said, scrubbing his face. “Why the fuck do I still insist on making bets with Slytherins?”

“I don't know, dear,” Hermione said sympathetically. “Pancakes?

“Oh, alright,” Ron grumbled, secretly vowing not to make any more wagers. About anything, with anyone, ever again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [ Tumblr](https://professordrarry.tumblr.com)!


End file.
